Happy Endings
by Clayton Overstreet
Summary: Illyria has a little fun with Cordelia, Fred and, Wesley on the way out of hell.


I don't own these characters or profit from them.

Angel: Happy Endings

(Takes place at the end of the Angel series where Los Angeles was sucked into Hell… and various other points in the time line.)

By, Clayton Overstreet

They say there are no happy endings. This is true. Because when you get down to it, there are not even any endings.

Los Angeles was returning to Earth. For the mortals, demons, and vampires the transfer was instantanious. For Illyria the Old One it was all about perspective. She could see the spirits and powers swirling as her corporeal body was rebuilt and rewound throuhg time until it took on its nearly human form again. Molecules by molecule it was rebuilt and reformed. Then she was inside it and sat up.

"A stunning achievement," she said.

The voices of the Senior Partners of the Wolf, the Ram, and the Hart spoke through their followers. "We are glad you approve."

"Why bring me back?"

"Because we understand what Angel and his people do not. They knocked you down. If destroying your existence could be done this way, we would have set nukes into the Deeper Well eons ago. As it is our resources are going towards ensuring that there is enough magic to keep your peers in their slumber durring the upcoming unpleasantness involving the Slayer's Twilight." (Note from the author: See the Buffy comics. Frankly if anyone can explain how else they kept the other Old Ones from waking up durring the Buffy Twilight arc when they sucked all the magic out of the Earth, please tell me.) "Your emotions will keep you tethered to that form now."

"Do not presume that your tricks will keep me under control," Illyria snapped.

"Not ours. Angel's."

Illyria frowned, feeling the muscles around her eyes twitch and strain. She would not say it, but had she been capable of it she would have been sobbing. Like a pathetic… her insides twinged and her thoughts changed… like a human. It was no wonder they beat the demons from Earth. Most demons healed almost instantly from wounds and while they felt emotion, human feelings were by comparison the difference between basking in the sun and throwing yourself into a volcano, only without the relief the fire would bring shortly.

Yet every day they walked around and fought to keep bathing in that fire every moment. A demon that could walk through the fires of hell would run screaming from the barest brush of such feelings. Illyria could hear Angelus screaming inside Angel's body, even after all its years. And yet halfbreeds like Lorne and Spike could feel those things to some extent as well and still want to exist. Was Illyria, a being greater than any god whose existence was beyond their mortal comprehension… she had been driven mad in a handful of days until she threw a tantrum like some human child, attempting to tear down everything rather than live with it.

Despite what she had thought before, she now knew that Fred was never that weak. She had endured tortures and pains, physical and emotional, that had driven her to madness and then clawed her way back only to have her… heart for lack of a better term… torn out again and again. Lastly by Illyria herself. In all the millenia she had spent torturing old ones, humans, demons, gods, angels, and souls of those who displeased her or merely caught her attention, Illyria had never caused or felt such pain.

"You are…"

"You will not presume to speak to me," Illyria said. "It is the machinations of your people that brought me to this point. A far greater insult than any have dared impose on me before."

"That was not our doing…"

"I realize you were unaware of your subordinant's actions. In my kingdom such a mistake would have earned each of you a million years of torture."

The demons bowed. "We remember."

Illyria looked around through the dimensions. The first in which all things times, places, possibilities, and thoughts occurred in the same place at the same time. The second, flat and simple and stretched like a wall… a thin membrane to keep the third from touching the first. The fourth, where the third stretched out in spirals of past and future moments, like spun threads. The fifth where they began to turn in on themselves… and so on for eternitity and the chaos beyond where things that existed outside the bounds of this time eternity watched and plotted and shook in fear under her gaze as tey tried to hide from her in the deeper seas of chaos.

"I want you to do something for me."

The demons looked up. "We would perhapse be willing to make a deal…"

"I will allow you to leave in one piece for the moment until such time as we meet again." Spiritual tentacles bigger than galaxies wrapped around the ties that bound the demons to their servants. Such powers could not effect anything in the mortal world, but those outside… oh yes. They cried out as things oozed from their follower's eyes in sympathetic pain. "Do you agree?" They screamed again. Half of their minions died. "I'll take that as a yes."

Cordelia was just watching Angel go back into his body and was taking her leave when Illyria grabbed her shoulder. "Hey lady what are you… oh." Being a higher power definitely had its perks. Knowing what was holding her shoulder was not one of them. In the Bible during the war between the Angels, which was a story that bore very little resemblance to what actually happened, when the Creator's followers fought the rebels they always showed both sides as having weapons. Swords of flame, pitchforks, or any number of others. Nobody in Sunday school asked why the angels already had weapons.

Illyria and her kind were why. God, the creator of the universe, had been one of their ilk. A creature spat randomly out of chaos and who like so many like him had made his own multiverse.

Cordelia shook it off, trying not to think about it. Even with the powers of omniscience granted to her as a higher power, the math and ancient history was too boring to keep thinking about. So she settled down to her old habits. "So you're the new girl who moved in when Fred and I left huh?"

"Yes," Illyria said.

"Wow… didn't expect that."

"You are Cordelia."

"Yeah… um, look, now that Angel isn't dying at this moment I kind of can't be here. Higher beings aren't really welcome in Hell…"

"You are under my protection. They will not harm you and I need your assistance."

"You can do that?"

Illyria smiled now. "Yes."

Cordelia chewed her lip. 'What do you want?"

"You were here to escort someone to Heaven. Angel is not going. I suggest you take someone else. Wesley does not belong in Hell."

Cordelia shook her head. "He thinks he does. That's how this works. I know you did not really take much of an interest in those eternal darkness days but… we're the good guy's. We don't just rip souls out of where they think they need to be… usually. I mean Willow did, but she thought Buffy was in hell so…"

Illyria shook her head. "That is a flawed system."

"Says you," Cordelia said. "Do you have a better one?"

Illyria tilted her head. "No."

"Well there you go then."

"I do not want Wesley in Hell."

"Neither does our side. To tell the truth I doubt Wolfram and Hart even care at this point. But Wesley… he doesn't see any point in even trying to leave."

"Because Fred will not be there waiting for him." She seemed to stare intot he distance. "To never die… to conquer all… that is winning."

"Define all," Cordelia said, gesturing to the edge of infinity and beyond. "Did you even understand what you conquered when you ruled the world?"

"I did not need to…" She stopped.

"Ozymandius," Cordelia said. Illyria looked at her. "It's one of the things I remember from school. A poem from a long time ago. I thought about it a lot when the IRS came and took my house and everything because my dad got a little… creative with the paperwork. Suddenly I go from being a queen to one of the little people. Then I ended up dating this total loser who broke my heart, got a rebar jammed through my body, impreganted by demons and higher powers, made a queen again which was nice and a higher power which is pretty boring… where was I?"

"Are you comparing yourself with me?"

"Little bit, yeah." Cordelia smiled. "And Fred. Angel. Lorne. Spike. Harmony. Pretty much everybody. Because you never bothered to learn the great secret of the universe that's known to madmen and phylosophers."

"What secret would that be?"

Cordelia winked. "That things change."

Around them reality rippled. "I did not need to change."

"Yeah, until you ended up buried in a hole for thousands of years and now… here you are." She winced as Illyria growled and tightened her grip. A human's arm would have been crushed like a tube of toothpaste. "Hey watch the nails girly."

"I would try to convince Wesley to leave with you, but he would not… it would not make a difference."

Cordelia nodded. "True. That's our Wesley… a real martyr to self-flagellation. Angel really knows how to pick people just like him."

"I understand."

"Yeah, now. Seriously I'm a higher power and I did not see the universe being saved by Spike, Angel, the Senior Partners, airplane dragons, and a giant flying beta fish. We usually can't see into hell after all so… wow."

Illyria nodded. "I too was momentarily caught off guard and then shoved back into my human shell…"

"Yeah, well that happens," Cordelia said.

Illyria said, "It did not used to. I find that it hurts that I cannot help Wesley… that I killed the only thing that matters to him… and that I would never have felt this way if I had stayed in the Well."

"Blaming yourself… welcome to team Angel. Too bad you can't time travel any more." Illyria said nothing. "Hello? Still there?"

"I do not have the power to effect the flow of time myself… but I can still channel those energies."

Cordelia smirked and waved at the rewinding time around them. "Plenty of those around now. And from where I sit it looks like they're using some of it to erase all your memories of being in Hell…"

"I do not believe I shall allow that." Using her free hand Illyria reached out and grasped a thread of power. The Senior Partners screamed another time, but fell silent as Illyria glared at them.

Fred was at the top of the stairs in Wolfram and Hart. Lorne was singing "You are my sunshine" when suddenly time stopped. The world rippled and Cordelia and… to Fred's shock… a copy of herself with blue hair and eyes in a dominatrix costume stepped out of the vortex. Her doppleganger looked around the room like an insect trying to figure out a television. Suddenly her arm reached out and into Fred's body, grabbing something and pulling. Then there were three of them.

"What's going on?" Fred gasped.

Time started up again, though nobody seemed to notice them. First Fred started singing with Lorne who somehow in that moment sensed something wrong. Then she coughed blood into Wesley's face and collapsed.

"What… Cordy? What's happening?'

"Fred, calm down. I mean freak out if you want, but it won't do any good."

Still holding them both Illyria stepped back into hell. "Winifred Berkle, you are needeed."

Looking down at herself Fred saw that she was see-through. "Did you just… kill me?"

"No, I have merely removed your astral form from your corporial body," Illyria said.

"Sort of," Cordy put in. "But it was that or your soul was going to burn to nothing as Sailor Mercury here invaded and hollowed out your body like an Easter bunny."

"I apologize," Illyria said.

Fred nodded. "Okay… who are you?"

"Someone who wishes they had never met you."

Cordy said quickly, "Fred, trust me on this. You do not want to ask her any annoying questions… and she considers most questions annoying."

"Okay… I'll try to keep that in mind. So what now…" Illyria growled. "… uh Cordy. Do I get bound to an amulet like Spike or what?"

"No, it's over Fred. Illyria here doesn't have enough power to change the timeline for mortals and she's going to be busy and believe me you do not want her in someone else's body."

"Yes I do! I like my body. Okay maybe I'l too skinny and things, but my friends seem to like it…" Cordy smiled and patted her head. "It's really over, isn't it?"

"Almost. We just need to pick up another passenger on the way upstairs."

Fred looked around. "Good because this so does not look like a place I feel like sticking around."

Time rippled around them as they approached the offices. Wesley was giving his goodbye speeh to Angel… when time stopped again."

Wesley turned and looked at them. "Well this is a new one, even for the senior partners. I'm used to them sending images of Fred to seduce me but never a three way before… and twins. A nice touch."

"You've been sleeping with evil copies of me?" Illyria and Fred said in unison, both angry.

"I've tried not to but they don't take no…" He paused. "Wait, what?"

"I can't believe this, a moment ago you were holding me as I couhed up blood…"

Illyria sneered. "This is ridiculous. If I'd known it was this easy to mate with you I would have ignored those stupid human mating rituals and thrown you to the ground."

Cordelia whistled. "Man Wes, you really know how to charm the girls. But if you think I'm joining in you're crazy. You had your shot with me and blew it."

"Is this… real?"

"You'll have plenty of time to figure things out when we get out of here Wes."

Suddenly the world shook around them. Demons appeared. "You will not be leaving."

"Yes, they are." Illyria said it softly.

"He signed a contract."

"And I am Illyria. My word is law. I say they leave."

"Or what?"

Illyria tilted her head and stepped forward, leaving the other three to be trapped frozen in time. "Or I stay. And I make this world over into paradise myself." She pointed to Wesley and Fred. "Anywhere is Heaven for them as long as they are together. Once I have dismembered your minions and you it will be difficult to torment them."

The demons sighed in unison. "Fine, but you must leave and never return."

"I go where I please."

"This is what we hate about old ones. They never could compromise."

"I learn and adapt. I do not compromise," Illyria said.

"Very well."

Illyria looked over her shoulder. Cardelia waved and all three of them vanished ina right flash of light. Then the world disolved around her only to be replaced by a rainy alleyway, an army of demons, and her… allies. She reached for one of the weapons at hand and ran to join the fighting.

Author's note

There are certain things about Buffy and Angel that never made sense to me. Like in Season 6 of Buffy where she had reestablished contact with the Watcher's council who had their own helicopters, yet she had to work at the Double Meat palace rather than them giving her cash for saving the world. Then there's the comic book where they apparenty sucked most of the magic on Earth out but somehow the Deeper Well is fine. And many other things.

As I sit here today watching some of the DVDs I just felt like fixing one of the minor moments in the series that I could without anyone complaining about affecting the time line. Not too exciting, but there's a reason Illyria got written out of the comics and heck, why the series ended. Once you're fighting all powerful gods there's really nowhere else to go, you know?

So now Wesley and Fred aren't destroyed or in hell and nobody else know it, so the series goes on and finally illyria uses her time travel powers the way everyone expected her to. The end.


End file.
